Self-Love: The Practice of Coming Home

Roses are red, violets are blue, choose yourself this season, let love begin with you!

That’s right, this month’s focus will be on “Self-Love” and embracing the person you are meant to be.

Easier said than done, right? I have spent the last 2+ years digging deep and exploring what these words really mean. Embracing the person you are meant to be…

To find out who I was meant to be, I first did a lot of soul searching. Read many books, attended a class at church about spiritual gifts, and started honing my meditations. I also journaled my thoughts, including making a list of my strengths, my personality traits, and also the gifts that I’d been created with. As part of this self-exploration, I also keep coming back to Maya Angelou’s statement, “People may forget what you say…but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

When creating my list, one common thread presented itself woven throughout all of the categories. This thread was the fact that I am an empath. Simply defined, an empath is a person who deeply feels and absorbs the emotions, moods, and even physical sensations of others as if they were their own, going beyond simple understanding to actually experiencing another’s feelings. This can lead to powerful connections and can also lead to becoming overwhelmed, burned out, and losing part of your own identity amidst others' experiences. This is where I found myself up until these last few years, when I began exploring how to be an empath and also provide myself with that same level of love I gave to all the others in my life.

What did I do? I started carving out time, guilt-free time, just for me. Let’s say that together, “just for me,” giving myself a gift of time, where I could do things that made my body, mind, and spirit feel alive, connected, and realigned to a healthy state.

Here’s what it looked like for me. Weekly, I created more time for yoga, Pilates, reading, and my Life Group at church. Once a month, I schedule a social time out in Charleston with a group of friends and allow myself to splurge on delicious lunches or events that bring laughter and fun. Once a year, I allow myself one vacation just for me! I started doing that 2 years ago, around my birthday. My birthday gift to myself: creating and cultivating more love from within. The past two years, my birthday gift trips were yoga retreats out of the country, and I decided that I’d take these trips solo. Wow, was this exciting, and slightly nerve-racking at first. I had never taken a trip alone, where I wasn’t meeting up with others, nor had I taken one out of the country alone.

Birthday Trip #1:

My first trip was to Playa Azul, Guanacaste, Costa Rica, and I can’t begin to put into words the transformative experience this serene and beautiful place allowed me. The retreat location was like a page out of heaven, and our intimate group of four created fast friendships sealed with vulnerable moments and wisdom shared.

Birthday Trip #2:

Last year brought me to San Miguel, Mexico, where I traveled by plane, car, and even on foot to reach a retreat where seven women from around the world joined. What unfolded was a vibrant cultural immersion. Each day offered grounding yoga practice, with the weekend bringing the rare gift of experiencing the Dia de Los Muertos tradition firsthand. From heartfelt traditions and community celebrations to expressive fashion and a lively photo shoot. It was a true learning adventure, rich in color, connection, and meaning.

All of these experiences have reshaped me in meaningful ways. I’ve come to understand that my greatest gift, my empathy, the quality that guides my personality and my passions, is also my pathway for sharing my openheartedness, kindness, and warmth with others. And within that gift, I’m learning to honor my boundaries, choosing not to absorb emotions that don’t belong to me. This is empowering. This is healthy. This is self-love.

A Quick Journaling Practice

1. List 3 of your strengths

2. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone or with a group

3. List 3 ways you can incorporate “just for me” time into your schedule

A Closing Thought

Self-Love is the practice of recognizing and honoring the unique gifts you were born to share with the world. You are a gift to others, and for them to truly receive what you are meant to offer, you must first nourish your body, mind, and spirit alike. That “me” time isn’t a luxury; it’s essential. Picture yourself coming home after a long day, slipping into a fluffy, warm, cozy robe. A moment of pure indulgence wrapped in the intention of caring for yourself. That is self-love in action.